A Few Words: Relationships

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Do You Need a Friend?

They are probably best friends since they were kids.
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

New International Version (NIV)

We need friends. Living on one's own can be depressing and desperate when trying to get through difficult times. When you're dealing with troubles on your own you have no sounding board or outside support. Scripture and prayer can certainly get you through such times if your mindset is in the right place, but having a good friend by your side provides a strength that you may not be able to muster by yourself.

Independence can be an admirable quality for us to have. We should not be overly and needily dependant on anyone else. That situation can be dangerous for us in many ways. However we need other people in order to get us by in this world. We need to have friends whom we can trust when trust is needed or just to keep us company when company is desired.

Jesus Christ is the ultimate friend. He loved us so much that He gave his life so that we could find salvation and eternal life. We rarely have to give up our own lives for our friends--at least not in the literal sense that Jesus did. But often being a friend does require sacrifice. Our time, material goods, money, or even our emotions might be necessary to give to a friend in need. Then there are the times when you may look to a friend to provide these things to you. True friendship is an exchange, a sharing experience, and a relationship with mutual benefits.

We can try going it alone and indeed many of us do. When you have friends by your side, traveling life's sometimes difficult road can be so much easier. Companionship makes a burden a lighter load to carry.

Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
John 15:13

New International Version (NIV)

Sunday, April 14, 2013

When Unreasonable Anger Cannot See What Is Reasonable

Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
do not fret—it leads only to evil.
Psalm 37:8

New International Version (NIV)

Sometimes we need to listen more closely to what others are telling us. We might think we know the story and have all of the answers, but we know the story from our side and may be blinded by our own perceptions.

This past week someone became very angry with me and seemed to insinuate that I had been dishonest or irresponsible. I tried several times to calmly explain where they were in error and that I had not done anything wrong. The person refused to listen to my reasoning and very logical explanation and spoke angrily at me. I was very hurt, but I kept calm and continued to explain my position in different ways.

I had all the facts and figures right in front of us. The person I was dealing with continued to lash out at me and say things that they knew would cut me deeply. Then, after a moment of silence as the person looked at the data I was presenting, that person suddenly realized that I had been right. But by then the damage had been done.

The person apologized and I accepted. But I was very hurt and the hurt remained with me. This person had every reason to trust me and I could not understand why the anger was unleashed. What was said was unnecessary and unfair and it's another thing from that person that will stay inside of me. I do not hold onto my anger, but my hurt is difficult to release.

I don't know if this person has learned from this or will find another reason to attack me in the future. I hope there have been lessons learned. I hope any future anger will be stemmed and result in loving dialogue. Most of all I pray that I can keep my composure and not resort to reflexive anger. Two angry people can lead to nothing good.

There is so much in our lives to be thankful for. When the relatively trivial comes into play we need to calmly reason through it and think about what keeps relationships strong. If we're talking about a little nuisance then don't fret it.

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.