do not fret—it leads only to evil.
Psalm 37:8
New International Version (NIV)
Sometimes we need to listen more closely to what others are telling us. We might think we know the story and have all of the answers, but we know the story from our side and may be blinded by our own perceptions.
This past week someone became very angry with me and seemed to insinuate that I had been dishonest or irresponsible. I tried several times to calmly explain where they were in error and that I had not done anything wrong. The person refused to listen to my reasoning and very logical explanation and spoke angrily at me. I was very hurt, but I kept calm and continued to explain my position in different ways.
I had all the facts and figures right in front of us. The person I was dealing with continued to lash out at me and say things that they knew would cut me deeply. Then, after a moment of silence as the person looked at the data I was presenting, that person suddenly realized that I had been right. But by then the damage had been done.
The person apologized and I accepted. But I was very hurt and the hurt remained with me. This person had every reason to trust me and I could not understand why the anger was unleashed. What was said was unnecessary and unfair and it's another thing from that person that will stay inside of me. I do not hold onto my anger, but my hurt is difficult to release.
I don't know if this person has learned from this or will find another reason to attack me in the future. I hope there have been lessons learned. I hope any future anger will be stemmed and result in loving dialogue. Most of all I pray that I can keep my composure and not resort to reflexive anger. Two angry people can lead to nothing good.
There is so much in our lives to be thankful for. When the relatively trivial comes into play we need to calmly reason through it and think about what keeps relationships strong. If we're talking about a little nuisance then don't fret it.
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.
James 1:19-20
New International Version (NIV)
